Consistent readers of this blog know that my coaching practice focuses primarily on career and business matters. I typically work with motivated, ultra busy, hyper competitive, successful professionals who are looking to reach the next level in their chosen endeavor.

But that doesn’t mean my clients are all work and no play. On the contrary, most have or are actively pursuing full and balanced lives that include a variety of volunteer activities, personal passions, and family commitments.

Recently I received a question on the subject of romance. Specifically, it was a request for advice on how a pair of driven professionals could stay connected while balancing their hectic schedules and considerable obligations. Since it’s a frequent inquiry, I thought it helpful to provide an overview of what I’ve come to call the Intimacy Project.

Since projects, deliverables, and to do lists resonate with hard chargers, I’ll ask them to embrace their natural tendencies and leverage their strengths to create a project plan for enhancing the connectedness in the relationship. What the plan includes will vary by couple of course, but starter activities include a:

• Mobile phone free after dinner walk
• Screen free, non-work end of day debrief
• Simply reading next to each other in bed

The selected activity is not as important as the willingness to set time aside to connect with the person who should be the most important in your life. Sometimes it’s difficult to get out of work mode so putting a playful spin on an ingrained professional mindset can help the duo create and strengthen rituals that create a sense of closeness.  

Once you’ve reconnected you can take the project to the next level by broadening its scope to include a future focus. This is simply a way of saying that couples should have something fun to look forward to. The content doesn’t matter. Be it a trip to Italy or a dinner date downtown. Intimacy comes from understanding… and the understanding should be: yes we work hard, but after all the noise, in the end, it’s just us.

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