Project Intimacy

Career Blog

Consistent readers of this blog know that my coaching practice focuses primarily on career and business matters. I typically work with motivated, ultra-busy, hyper-competitive, successful professionals looking to reach the next level in their chosen endeavors.  

But that doesn’t mean my clients are all work and no play. On the contrary, most have or are actively pursuing complete and balanced lives that include various volunteer activities, personal passions, and family commitments. 

Recently, I received a question on the subject of romance. Specifically, it requested advice on how a pair of driven professionals could stay connected while balancing their hectic schedules and considerable obligations. Since it’s a frequent inquiry, I thought it helpful to provide an overview of what I’ve come to call the Intimacy Project.  

Since projects, deliverables, and to-do lists resonate with hard chargers, I’ll ask them to embrace their natural tendencies and leverage their strengths to create a project plan to enhance the relationship’s connectedness. What the plan includes will vary by couple, of course, but starter activities include the following:

  • Mobile phone free after dinner walk 
  • Screen-free, non-work end-of-day debrief 
  • Simply reading next to each other in bed

The selected activity is less important than the willingness to set time aside to connect with the person who should be the most important in your life. Sometimes, getting out of work mode is difficult, so putting a playful spin on an ingrained professional mindset can help the duo create and strengthen rituals that form a sense of closeness. 

Once reconnected, you can take the project to the next level by broadening its scope to include a future focus. This is simply a way of saying that couples should have something fun to look forward to. The content doesn’t matter. Be it a trip to Italy or a dinner date downtown. Intimacy comes from understanding… and the understanding should be: yes, we work hard, but after all the noise, in the end, it’s just us.

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